The sage interrupted [him.] “When you return home, I suggest you ask your wife for a divorce.

WHAT? What are you talking about?

Why not get a divorce? You have the power to do so at any time. You just call an attorney–

It was my turn to interrupt. “I couldn’t do that!


Because it would cause a lot of pain. For my wife. For my children. And for me. The finances would be a mess. And besides, I made a promise when we got married. I made a commitment. And what kind of example would that be to my kids?

So you’re trapped,” she said.

I’m not trapped.

You certainly sound as if you are,” she said lightly. “You gave a number of reasons–very good ones. I’m sure–why you CAN’T get a divorce. But only when you reclaim the power to end your relationship can you fully commit to it. Only then can you passionately CHOOSE to remain married instead of ‘having to’ for one reason or another. Do you understand?

Yes,” I said, smiling. “I think I do.

And I’m not talking just about your relationships,” she said. “This is about your work, your friends, your location, and your life.

I don’t understand.

Just as some people, having forgotten their power of choice, feel trapped in a relationship, others feel trapped by their life or by circumstances, and things have to get very painful before they find the will, the courage, and the self-respect to make new choices. Unless you realize you have the power to say no,” she continued, “you can never really say yes. To your relationships. To your work. To your life. To anything. 

You don’t HAVE to wait to make positive, empowering changes. You don’t HAVE to go to school; you don’t HAVE to go to work; you don’t HAVE to go to war; you don’t HAVE to be married, or have children, or act as other people expect or desire. You don’t HAVE to do anything. Just recognize that every action or inaction has consequences, and that your willingness to accept these consequences gives you the power and freedom to choose who you are, where you are, and what you will do. 

That’s when life changes from an obligation to a blessed opportunity. That’s when miracles happen.

–End of Excerpt from The Laws of Spirit by Dan Millman–

If a person can’t walk away from their faith, cannot walk away from their job, cannot walk away from their relationship… they can’t really choose it.  They are trapped.  The real test is not how well they choose the only choice they have ever allowed themselves to have, but what they choose when they allow themselves any choice.

They are actually prevented from “walking by faith.” 

They are a mindless drone, not an active chooser of what they will believe.  They are trapped because they can’t really choose what they don’t know they’re choosing.  They haven’t seen anything else.  It is not by faith that they walk… it is by fear that they walk. 

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